{"id":5058,"date":"2020-03-16T10:59:00","date_gmt":"2020-03-16T10:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/?p=5058"},"modified":"2020-03-17T07:04:55","modified_gmt":"2020-03-17T07:04:55","slug":"books-i-read-in-2019-that-changed-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/16\/books-i-read-in-2019-that-changed-my-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Books I Read in 2019 That Changed My Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
In 2019 I was very depressed for the first few months. I\ndidn\u2019t know how to get help. As the year developed, I began to seek self-help\nthrough books. Lo and behold, a few of these books DID indeed allow me to grow\nand change the way that I saw relationships, money, confidence and much more.\nHere are 5 books that I would recommend you in growing when you feel stuck. \nBefore I get into it, a valuable word of advice from a friend said to me, \u201cyou\ncan seek self-help as much as possible, but it will not get better without you\nlearning how to ACTUALLY face your traumas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
This was the first Non-fiction book I read in a long time. I think it may have been my first ever self-help book. It was honestly very difficult to read the first two chapters and I found them a little boring. The chapters felt boring because it began with mostly just statistics. This book took me 6 months to complete. A reason why is because I was trying to get back into the habit of reading. After the first six months it was easy, and I read a few minutes a day between 2-3 books. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Ikigai is a book about how Japanese people live such a long\nlife and what they do to maintain their health and life balance. Some of the\nkey points were about small things such as 10-minutes walks a day and getting\nenough sunlight. There were health tips and the book went over \u201cthe art of\nachieving flow\u201d. Flow is finding creativity in tasks to make them more\ninteresting and appealing for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ikigai mentions how you should do what you love for a\nliving. It\u2019s common for Japanese. The book also encourages you to never retire.\nIn America, we would perceive that as crazy. However, if you\u2019re doing what you\nlove for a living, it\u2019s most definitely not a loss. There\u2019s nothing wrong with\nmaking what you want and using it to support your lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of my favorite lessons in the book is to \u201calways have a\nsecond income.\u201d Which has been valuable to me. Imagine you lost your job out of\nnowhere\u2026 or you got sick and were not paid for a few days, you\u2019d still be able\nto afford living. What some Japanese people do for side money is selling food\nat a farmer\u2019s market. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me, my second base of income are my t-shirt designs and\nTwitch streaming. What can you do on the side to make a little extra hustle\nmoney? Sometimes hobbies are key to this! Don\u2019t over do it, though. Hobbies are\ngreat for decompressing and income can sometimes ruin that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although Ikigai took a minute to complete, the information\nwas very valuable to me and it\u2019s a book you want to keep reference to in the\nfuture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray PHD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Me? A cutie pie reading a DATING book? Yes. What a lot of\npeople don\u2019t know about me is that I\u2019ve had many relationships (somewhere\nbetween 20 and 30). Many of which have failed entirely and very harshly. I got\nvery tired of getting my heart broken and I began to question what was wrong with\nme… or even what I was doing wrong myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My best friend from my childhood hugged me in my frustration\nand suggested that I read this book. The first chapter had my jaw-dropped to\nthe floor. I was doing a LOT wrong. A lot of people \u201cunknowingly sabotage\nrelationships.\u201d With knowing this information, I have become more patient with\nothers. The book talks about the 5 stages of dating and how differently men and\nwomen perceive the things we do and say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The 5 stages of Dating are\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Attraction- What draws you in<\/li>
Uncertainty- Are they right for us?<\/li>
Exclusivity- Actual Commitment<\/li>
Intimacy- Showing your most vulnerable parts of\noneself<\/li>
Engagement- The celebration of love and learning\nto dedicate to a promise.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
Those steps MUST be taken in order. I\u2019ve noticed that I and\nothers will sometimes hop into stage 3 almost overnight because we get so\nexcited. A few of my friends will be \u201cin a relationship\u201d almost overnight then\nend up breaking up just as quick. Some people even head into stage 4\nimmediately. This can include sex or being TOO vulnerable in what you discuss\ntoo quickly such as childhood trauma and emotional struggles\/mental health.\nThese are matters that should happen while a relationship forms, rather than\nforcing something too quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The kicker for me was the fact that I\u2019d treat a man how I\nwanted to be treated. Men psychologically will do a woman a favor, a woman will\ngive back. It\u2019s not reciprocated very well by a man. For example: If a man\nbought me dinner, I\u2019d give him a gift in return. This confuses men and makes\nthem feel their effort is unappreciated or their just perceived as a friend.\nTaking the romantic aspect out of the equation. This is where I made myself\nfall short most of the time. Now I do not do that and still can be myself! Just\nsay, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
My favorite thing about the book is how men and women think\nand work differently. Women take a while to warm up to people\u2026 whereas men warm\nup to people almost immediately. Sometimes men overexplain themselves and women\njust want to hear the simplistic point of the explanation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
An important piece of the book explains that the couple\nneeds to follow the stages in union. Sometimes we as humans end up in a\ndifferent stage than our partner and that makes things more complex. Sometimes\na person will think they\u2019re in stage 5, but the other is still stuck in stage\n2, causing doubt, confusion or even cheating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something that I found mostly irrelevant in the book was the\n\u201cwhy men don\u2019t call\u201d section. It dates the book a bit because now, a lot of us\nbase our relationships off text messages. The perk that I did find from this\nsection was the explanation of ghosting. A lot of men ghost because they simply\nsee it as a graceful way of departing. Women do not see it that way and end up\nholding grudges toward men for not calling them back. If a man DOES like a\nwoman and he doesn\u2019t text or call it\u2019s because he\u2019s sometimes nervous and doesn\u2019t\nwant to come off \u201ctoo needy\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
In conclusion, this book is maybe like\u2026 a 80\/100 for me. A\nlot of the ideas and values are a bit out-of-date. Most are SO important and\nquite fascinating, but some of it can be subjective. Women can be a bit more\nforward these days toward men since it\u2019s more acceptable. My current boyfriend\nloves every random gift he receives since it\u2019s my love language. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The book may not age well in the future. It is still\nrelevant for straight people but may complicate perspectives of those in the\nLGBTQ variety. In the beginning of the book DOES note that, \u201cnot all of this\nwill resonate.\u201d The book is just meant to be a tool of romantic balance and allows\na way to guide you to find your \u201csoul mate.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did my best to take some of the book lightly, but through\nthe reading material I can say proudly that I have successfully passed the\nlevel 2 stage for the first time in years. I would recommend this book for a\nperson who is looking to improve their perspective of the opposite biological\nsex and understand the different ways of thinking so we aren\u2019t so hard on\nothers and ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You by Lydia Fennett<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When I first read this book, I thought it was just about the author and her line of work. She\u2019s an Auctioneer for Christie\u2019s. The funny part is, as I was reading this book I was also reading China Rich Girlfriend, which mentioned Christie\u2019s a few times. I wouldn\u2019t have understood unless I read this book. That was ironic to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/li><\/ul><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
It took me five months to read this book. I found this book\nat the University of DePaul in Chicago. My Game Design collaborators and I were\nthinking it was a great book for me. Turns out, the book was PERFECT. Lydia\nFennet talks about her life lessons about how people used to look at her with\ndisdain or without respect as she began her career. Her story is about she didn\u2019t\ngive up on her education and spent extra hours on her career every day. She\nthen spoke about amazing key points that include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How to handle stage fright<\/li>
Don\u2019t let them see you sweat<\/li>
Don\u2019t forget to bring the bread and honey for\nyour hard workers<\/li>
Daily roadmaps<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
When I got into the core of the book I was auditioning for\n\u201cthe Voice\u201d at the local events center. A lot of this book allowed me to gain\nthe courage to even try. I did not make it, but I\u2019m proud of myself for doing\nit. Lydia advised that, \u201cwhen you are nervous, use the nervousness as energy.\u201d\nAnother lesson that I found very important is that \u201cThe most Powerful woman in\nthe room exudes confidence.\u201d In the book, Lydia goes through a scenario where\nshe dealt with Matt Damon as a person to help rally a crowd in her Auctions. Matt\nDamon got Lydia\u2019s name wrong and she took it in stride. Instead of allowing a\nCelebrity to step on her reputation she told herself, \u201cI am the professional in\nthe auction world. He is the professional in the acting world. So, Lydia\nretaliated and said to her audience, \u201cMy name is actually Lydia. I would like\neveryone to give a round of applause to my junior auctioneer, Michael Diamond.\u201d\nIt immediately made everyone in the crowd respect her, including Matt Damon.\nHold your ground. Don\u2019t form to what others say you are, no matter their power.\nBe the most authentic you. Also, network or die. Seriously. Everyone is your\nally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Sophia is the founder of the clothing line Girlboss and has\na show about her business story on Netflix. The show\u2019s a little different from\nher actual story, but it\u2019s still super impressive. The show tells more of the\npersonal aspect vs. the professional aspect. Sophia used to be a thief. She\nstole from stores and one day got caught by an individual who worked at a grocery\nstore. With the confrontation, Sophia turned around, apologized and moved back\nto California to re-establish herself. Sophia comes into her own power through\nthe Myspace Era of free models and advertisement. She took advantage of Ebay\nand \u201cflipped\u201d clothing. Amoruso went to estate sales where she found super\nexpensive designer clothes for cheap and made them her own style. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She then busted her butt for her brand. She\u2019d only reward\nherself with Starbucks when she completed orders. She had found so much passion\nin her work that she forgot about how much money she had in the bank from her\nbusiness and just worked, because she had something to prove. \u201cMoney looks\nbetter in the bank than it does on your feet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Some of the material that this book includes business wise\nare tips of being a manager\/employer. Not every worker is going to value what\nyou do. Some people never show up to their interviews. Others will work their butts off just like\nyou. Every avenue of creativity should be explored, and that you need to own\nyourself. Admit mistakes and take credit for your success. Be a true #Girlboss.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sophia would have not been successful if she didn\u2019t realize\nthe importance of her mundane small jobs, either. There are SO many life\nlessons you can learn from becoming a sandwich artist at Subway. You can learn\na lot working at a bank. College or not, your jobs matter in your experience of\nbecoming an entrepreneur… or even just a hardworking manager or an individual\nwith a job that you deserve. Get into your own power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity: How To Manage Emotions as a Highly Sensitive Person by Imi Lo<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Okay so this book is crucial for me. I\u2019m still in the\nprocess of reading it, but it\u2019s a book that needs to be processed and read over\nslowly. It\u2019s a book that talks about how 10% of people in this world are quite\nsensitive compared to the rest of the world. This is a book about how sensitive\npeople easily get brushed to the side or misdiagnosed with a mental illness\nthey DO NOT have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I grew up feeling like a victim of the world. A person who\ncould never be understood because the thought of crying would make me bawl\nuncontrollably. As years pass and lack of knowledge, sensitive humans end up\nshutting down or have a difficult time functioning in daily life because of how\nsensitive we can be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
The first few chapters of the book talks about how sensitive\nsouls end up having to parent their own parents and become \u201cthe responsible\none\u201d at too young of an age. Or how when you were young, something at school\nwould really hurt you and your parent wouldn\u2019t understand why something so\nsmall was so trivial to a child. I remember my first ever heartbreak in 4th<\/sup>\ngrade. My parental figures were very bewildered and didn\u2019t understand me on an\nemotional level. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But with this book it guides you through meditations or\nwritten work to help you release and face your childhood traumas. The book\nteaches you how to face pains from 12 years ago you just could not let go of.\nLetting go of one friend was devastating… and 15 years later, still is. Imo\nLo talks you through how to become yourself, and an adult at the same time to\nlet go of those old traumas, which in turn, allow you to move on with your life\nand no longer feel weighed-down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of these books were extremely important pieces of\nliterature for me. I can now comfortably go after my dreams without fear or\nexcused from my past to block my perspective. It\u2019s time to take one\u2019s power and\ntruly own it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of these books are very important to my personal progress\nin the last 12 months. Thank you for reading this and stay cute, stay prickly. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In 2019 I was very depressed for the first few months. I didn\u2019t know how to get help. As the year developed, I began to seek self-help through books. Lo and behold, a few of these books DID indeed allow me to grow and change the way that I saw relationships, money, confidence and much more. Here are 5 books that I would recommend you in growing when you feel stuck. Before I get into it, a valuable word of advice from a friend said to me, \u201cyou can seek self-help as much as possible, but it will not get better without you learning how to ACTUALLY face your traumas. Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles This was the first Non-fiction book I read in a long time. I think it may have been my first ever self-help book. It was honestly very difficult to read the first two chapters and I found them a little boring. The chapters felt boring because it began with mostly just statistics. This book took me 6 months to complete. A reason why is because I was trying to get back into the habit of reading. After the first six months it was easy, and I read a few minutes a day between 2-3 books. Ikigai is a book about how Japanese people live such a long life and what they do to maintain their health and life balance. Some of the key points were about small things such as 10-minutes walks a day and getting enough sunlight. There were health tips and the book went over \u201cthe art of achieving flow\u201d. Flow is finding creativity in tasks to make them more interesting and appealing for you. Ikigai mentions how you should do what you love for a living. It\u2019s common for Japanese. The book also encourages you to never retire. In America, we would perceive that as crazy. However, if you\u2019re doing what you love for a living, it\u2019s most definitely not a loss. There\u2019s nothing wrong with making what you want and using it to support your lifestyle. One of my favorite lessons in the book is to \u201calways have a second income.\u201d Which has been valuable to me. Imagine you lost your job out of nowhere\u2026 or you got sick and were not paid for a few days, you\u2019d still be able to afford living. What some Japanese people do for side money is selling food at a farmer\u2019s market. For me, my second base of income are my t-shirt designs and Twitch streaming. What can you do on the side to make a little extra hustle money? Sometimes hobbies are key to this! Don\u2019t over do it, though. Hobbies are great for decompressing and income can sometimes ruin that. Although Ikigai took a minute to complete, the information was very valuable to me and it\u2019s a book you want to keep reference to in the future. Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray PHD Me? A cutie pie reading a DATING book? Yes. What a lot of people don\u2019t know about me is that I\u2019ve had many relationships (somewhere between 20 and 30). Many of which have failed entirely and very harshly. I got very tired of getting my heart broken and I began to question what was wrong with me… or even what I was doing wrong myself. My best friend from my childhood hugged me in my frustration and suggested that I read this book. The first chapter had my jaw-dropped to the floor. I was doing a LOT wrong. A lot of people \u201cunknowingly sabotage relationships.\u201d With knowing this information, I have become more patient with others. The book talks about the 5 stages of dating and how differently men and women perceive the things we do and say. The 5 stages of Dating are\u2026 Attraction- What draws you in Uncertainty- Are they right for us? Exclusivity- Actual Commitment Intimacy- Showing your most vulnerable parts of oneself Engagement- The celebration of love and learning to dedicate to a promise. Those steps MUST be taken in order. I\u2019ve noticed that I and others will sometimes hop into stage 3 almost overnight because we get so excited. A few of my friends will be \u201cin a relationship\u201d almost overnight then end up breaking up just as quick. Some people even head into stage 4 immediately. This can include sex or being TOO vulnerable in what you discuss too quickly such as childhood trauma and emotional struggles\/mental health. These are matters that should happen while a relationship forms, rather than forcing something too quickly. The kicker for me was the fact that I\u2019d treat a man how I wanted to be treated. Men psychologically will do a woman a favor, a woman will give back. It\u2019s not reciprocated very well by a man. For example: If a man bought me dinner, I\u2019d give him a gift in return. This confuses men and makes them feel their effort is unappreciated or their just perceived as a friend. Taking the romantic aspect out of the equation. This is where I made myself fall short most of the time. Now I do not do that and still can be myself! Just say, \u201cThank you.\u201d My favorite thing about the book is how men and women think and work differently. Women take a while to warm up to people\u2026 whereas men warm up to people almost immediately. Sometimes men overexplain themselves and women just want to hear the simplistic point of the explanation. An important piece of the book explains that the couple needs to follow the stages in union. Sometimes we as humans end up in a different stage than our partner and that makes things more complex. Sometimes a person will think they\u2019re in stage 5, but the other is still stuck in stage 2, causing doubt, confusion or even cheating. Something that I found mostly irrelevant in the book was the \u201cwhy men don\u2019t call\u201d section. It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5059,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[136],"class_list":["post-5058","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-books"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5058","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5058"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5058\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5079,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5058\/revisions\/5079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cactussquirrel.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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